Living With a Hernia - Weird Al Yankovic
(Parody of "Living in America" by James Brown)


(Help me out, Dig! ... ooh)
All I do is grunt and groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off, told me to cough
(Doctor says there ain't nothin') to discuss
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss, woo! 

(Living with a hernia) Ow!
All the time, such aggravation
(Living with a hernia)
Gonna be my ruination
(Living with a hernia)
Got to have an operation
Feel so old, heh huh 

Too much back pain
Good gawd, drives me insane
Can't run, barely crawl
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall
Walk real funny, bless my soul
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl
(You can't even do the splits now) Say it (Better call it quits now)
I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow 

(Living with a hernia) huh
Hurts me bad in a tender location
(Living with a hernia)
Had enough humiliation
(Living with a hernia) yeaah-!
Got to have an operation Ow! 

I (live with a hernia)
Can't get up, can't bend over
Now I (live with a hernia)
Wait a minute...
You may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you could get
So just settle down, let me clue you in
There's incomplete (incomplete)
Epigastric (epigastric)
Bladder (bladder)
Strangulated (strangulated)
Lumbar hernia (lumbar hernia)
Richter's hernia (richter's hernia)
Obstructed (obstructed)
Inguinal and Direct 

(Living with a hernia)...Rupture!
I said it's causin' me such irritation
(Living with a hernia) whoo-ow!
Have to have my medication
(Living with a hernia) yeaa-!
I feel bad!