Another stupid ex story lol

[Shawn]

So she calls last night while I was working,crying and saying she is leaving her husband. I went along with what she was saying and pretended I really cared.When she mentioned the kids,I flipped out on her. I reminded her how she dumped them 3 1/2 years ago and thought it was all fun and games then and I don't feel a bit damn sorry for what is going on and asked her where her problems falls within being mine. I told her she doesn't stand a chance with the kids as far as them wanting to see or talk to her again.
She kept going on and on and crying and I told her to grow the F up and take it as a grown up and accept the fact her kids hate her. She asked why I was acting this way towards her and I asked her are you mental?Why the hell do you think I am like this? Do I really need to spell it out for you about what you done?
She has tried to call since but I have her number blocked.I don't need her BS around again and I think that is what she was hinting about,trying to get back with me and think everything would be like it was. I don't think so,not in this life time....I felt I handled it well and got my point across that she isn't running back to me just because her marriage to the bum fell apart and all her friends and family won't help her because of what she has done to them.

[Frong]

I don't even know why you didn't have her number blocked in the first place. Why give her the chance to cause you more aggravation? Just cut her off and be done with it.

[Shawn]

I don't even know why you didn't have her number blocked in the first place. Why give her the chance to cause you more aggravation? Just cut her off and be done with it.

That's the problem,she keeps switching numbers and I have to block them every time she calls.Since I get a lot of calls from work from people wanting a cab I have to answer numbers I don't know and when it is her I have to block it.
I have been finding her little tricks lately more as entertainment then anything.I have came a long way and don't let what she says get to me and I get to her more often then not. I am pretty straight forward about things now and speak my mind and don't hold back,why should I? I have been expecting this call for 3 years now and knew it would come and I done exactly what I told myself I would and that was not to feel sorry for her and take her back because of it. I think I done good and will continue to turn her away for good. I did mention to my daughter what her mom done and she instantly said I don't want her around me at all. I have a million and one reasons to stay away from her.

[Diabolique]

I think you handled it very well, Shawn! She just needs to move on already. Sheesh.

Did you tell the kids about that phone call?

[Shawn]

I think you handled it very well, Shawn! She just needs to move on already. Sheesh.

Did you tell the kids about that phone call?

Just my daughter because I knew she'd get a laugh out of it.On my way back from the casino tonight her mom sends a message on FB to me telling me she is trying to get her to give her money or her sister to give her money so she can leave.I laughed and sent a message back to not do it and let her live in the hell she so desired to be in so much that she let her kids go to be with him. I'm waiting on a knock at the door any day now that I know she is wanting out that bad.But she will leave with a sore nose and 2 black eyes from teh door hitting her in the face,I'm not dealing with all that drama again..YAWN lol

[soloist]

At this point, I'm not even certain
that the kids would even wan-
t to learn of this consideri-
ng all that she's done to
show that she didn't
want to be a part
of their lives b-
y being an un-
fit parent a-
nd an irri-
sponsi-
ble
one a-
t that. W-
hile she is st-
ll the mother of
children, her actio-
ns proved that she is
still selfish and is not su-
itable to have them under
her care. Maybe one day wh-
en she grows up and turn her li-
fe around, maybe then it would b-
e appropriate to involve her in the k-
ids lives should Shawn choose to, but ri-
ght now, she's still far from being ready in
my opinion (laughs). What might your opinio-
n on this be, Shawn? Will you tell your children?

[Shawn]

At this point, I'm not even certain
that the kids would even wan-
t to learn of this consideri-
ng all that she's done to
show that she didn't
want to be a part
of their lives b-
y being an un-
fit parent a-
nd an irri-
sponsi-
ble
one a-
t that. W-
hile she is st-
ll the mother of
children, her actio-
ns proved that she is
still selfish and is not su-
itable to have them under
her care. Maybe one day wh-
en she grows up and turn her li-
fe around, maybe then it would b-
e appropriate to involve her in the k-
ids lives should Shawn choose to, but ri-
ght now, she's still far from being ready in
my opinion (laughs). What might your opinio-
n on this be, Shawn? Will you tell your children?

Kids have pretty much decided it's to late for her and they have accepted she is the way she is and no one will change her. I don't think she can change at this point in her life.She can't accept how she is and that she is actually beyond the help of the best therapist and medication this world has to offer. I just have to mention that their mom called and the first thing out of my daughters mouth is I don't want to see her or talk to her. My son,I think he goes along with my daughter but he has already seen the picture that was painted by her and how she portrayed herself in front of the kids.I think is she were to come back around,the kids would be scared she run off and do it again to them,and honestly I think she would. I've tried how many times in the past to give her chance after chance to be around them and talk to them,only for her to start trouble and I have to end that with her.I've actually lost count how many times I've tried so hard,now that I stop and the kids have finally accepted it,she wants to come around...No thanks,I sure as hell and not doing that to the kids again.My kids are finally doing their best at school A's and B's for both them on the last report card,I remember how hard it was to get them to that point and that is just a small win for me,I could sit all day and type what I have had to overcome with them and getting them normal again,it took me a long time,I'm not ready to give that up anytime soon.

[soloist]

I hear you, Shawn! If you have
caller ID and an answering
service, these two sho-
uld help immensely!
You'll still probab-
ly hear from h-
er, but ther-
e won't be
a verbal
excha-
nge.

[Shawn]

I hear you, Shawn! If you have
caller ID and an answering
service, these two sho-
uld help immensely!
You'll still probab-
ly hear from h-
er, but ther-
e won't be
a verbal
excha-
nge.

Yeah one way or another she will always try but I won't fall for stupid animal tricks anymore lol
I heard she stayed with her husband,not that I care,but she was so determined last Friday that she was leaving him,and I told her she wouldn't and guess I was right about that and everything else in her pathetic little life. As long as she is happy and stays away from me and the kids,I'm just as happy for her. Like i said I won't make that mistake ever again,I'd rather die alone then be with her or around her again.

[soloist]

I congratulate you on your stance of your
ex. After all that you've been throug-
h, why pursue actions that would
potentially produce the same
results? Eventually, when
we get tired of the sa-
me events plaguing
us, we do what's
necessary to p-
revent them
from happ-
ening ag-
ain. Or
at le-
ast
we sh-
ould. If w-
e continue to
do things that cr-
eate the same prob-
lems that we go throug-
h, then we're not tired en-
ough of the problems and will
have to endure more before we
have made up our minds to atempt
to change the situation. It's never goi-
ng to be easy and may take some time b-
efore we're able to adjust, but eventually it
works out. But enough of my logistics on self p-
reservation (laughs). I'm glad to hear that your ex
is out of the picture (so-to-speak... er type). Knowin-
g that she'll always be trying to get back in, be careful, ok?

[Shawn]

I congratulate you on your stance of your
ex. After all that you've been throug-
h, why pursue actions that would
potentially produce the same
results? Eventually, when
we get tired of the sa-
me events plaguing
us, we do what's
necessary to p-
revent them
from happ-
ening ag-
ain. Or
at le-
ast
we sh-
ould. If w-
e continue to
do things that cr-
eate the same prob-
lems that we go throug-
h, then we're not tired en-
ough of the problems and will
have to endure more before we
have made up our minds to atempt
to change the situation. It's never goi-
ng to be easy and may take some time b-
efore we're able to adjust, but eventually it
works out. But enough of my logistics on self p-
reservation (laughs). I'm glad to hear that your ex
is out of the picture (so-to-speak... er type). Knowin-
g that she'll always be trying to get back in, be careful, ok?

Actually,you hit the nail on the head with this post. I did have a very long adjusting period to my new situation 3 1/2 years ago,it seemed like I would do whatever I could of back then to fix things,make them right,only she didn't want to. I put up with a lot of BS and some I did bring on myself,I'm not 100% innocent on that part,I was being hopeful things would change and we'd be a family again. After 13 years and 2 kids and everything else,I never thought she would be so foolish into really letting it all go for what she was getting in return.Yeah I called that wrong.But this past year or so,I have learned not to play into it,things will never change between us or for her and if I continued down this path,I was headed for mass destruction of not only but the kids as well. Something did have to change,which it did,and now I feel like I am free. Now it's not this big deal to me when she does call,it's more of me thinking,"you got to be F'n kidding me" kinda of thing running through my mind. Now I play the mind games with her and act like I care when I don't,only to laugh at her when she still doesn't get her way.It gives me a little pleasure inside to be able to do that and know the kids are ok with how things are now. I think that was my biggest obstacle were the kids.I didn't want or ask for this to happen with them,I strongly believe in 2 parent households,but it doesn't always work that way.Last I heard,divorce rate is 50% anyways so now that time has passed,and things have settled with me and the kids,I am more realistic with the whole thing.
I still laugh when I think about my daughter telling her mom on the phone that she was more mature then her and her husband combined and that they needed to grow up.No tears were said when she said it and she was being as serious as she could when she said it,no little laugh or even cracking a smile. My daughter has gotten tougher over the last few years about all this. She is very focused on school and her career path she is wanting when she gets out of School,College,and then the Military. In fact,her last report card,she finally got her grade point average to a 3.05,which is the highest she has had since me and her mom split.It's always been about 2.1-2.5 and the 3.05 came even after missing a week of school after surgery.She has made huge improvements and taken on the responsibility of making sure her homework was done before she went back to school.She had to go to School early and stay late to catch up,but she done it and made me very proud of her. She is doing exactly what I expect of her without me even telling her to.I just hope my son is as easy as she has been. My daughter is wanting to go into nursing,an RN,probably staying in the Military and making a career out of it.She is in JrAFROTC at school and has really liked it.She knows that is her ticket to College being paid for plus some money to spend so she doesn't have to work when in College and walks away with a degree and debt free. Sorry got on a little rant,just been awhile since I have posted about the kids...

[Lagoon Bug]

Of course her marriage with her new husband was a total fail. No one can be a total psycho to her family, leave, start up with another person, then somehow be all peaches and perfect with that new person. Whoever she was with should have realized that she was coming with a ton of baggage.

[Shawn]

Of course her marriage with her new husband was a total fail. No one can be a total psycho to her family, leave, start up with another person, then somehow be all peaches and perfect with that new person. Whoever she was with should have realized that she was coming with a ton of baggage.

She is still with him. I had a run that I had to do at work tonight and it took me by where they live and her car was there. They are actually meant for each other,they both like drama and causing everyone they can problems. The person she left me for really had nothing to loose and everything to gain,he was homeless,no job,no money no personal belongings besides some clothes. He had his own children taken away by the state years ago. My take is he showed her the kind of attention she needed and wanted that I refused to play into and she fell for it.I think he knew what he was doing for personal gain.At first it was hard for me to accept but 3 1/2 years later,I am much happier being out of the relationship with her. One person here knows I was very unhappy with m y relationship with my ex when we were together and was encouraging me to get out and not stay just for the kids,that was the only reason I stayed. I think it was about a year and a half 2 years I had actually thought about leaving but couldn't.I am glad I stayed now because I have custody of the kids. I couldn't live without being around them all the time and only having limited access to them. I really don't know how other parents who don't have custody deal with not being around their kids much.I'd go crazy. I may have a hectic schedule at times and it does get rough,but I wouldn't trade in this experience for a million dollars. Adjusting was hard but we managed and now that everything is normal,the kids are getting the normal life they deserve with the exception of not having their mom around.
Just the other day we were in the car and they were talking about her,they didn't say mom though,they used her first name instead. I asked them what that was all about and both said they don't consider her a mom and can't call her by that since she left them for another man and his family. I don't think I will correct them on this and will let them continue to address her in this manner. If that is their way of dealing with it then I see no harm.It's not like anything will change and she will be in their lives ever again. My ex just doesn't want to see how much damage she has caused and that it will never work out even when they are older.

I don't know if this was ever mentioned about my ex,but she grew up without her real dad around and a mom who would jump in and out of relationships.I think she married 3-4 different guys when my ex and her sister were growing up. Then 28 years later,her real dad starts coming around,turns out to be a big loser and bum like her husband,in fact they were best friends and that is how she met her husband. I done everything I could to chase her real dad off because he was a mooch and always wanted something,cigarettes,food and whatever else he could take from us. After about 2 years of him being around is when she cheated on me and left. I think if it wasn't for him coming around,things would not be the way they are and I'd still be in a horrible relationship with her. Maybe he done me a huge favor.Either way,I'm ok with it now.

[Shawn]

Ha it gets better,didn't think this would happen but she actually came to my house since I don't answer her calls. She has some nerve.
I did let her see the kids and talk to them,ONLY because I don't want the kids to think I am causing the problem and keeping them away from her.I know it sounds weird but my situation hasn't been normal and I don't want to be the bad person in the eyes of the kids. She asked me to go outside to talk,which I didn't.instead I told her what ever she had to say,she can say it with the kids present. I already knew what it was and of course I was right. She wants a place to stay so she can get away from him. I didn't give her an answer,I just said I would talk to the kids about it. She finally leaves and I talk to the kids. The kids want her to come back and live with us. I don't want that and I made myself clear on my reasons. I asked them to think of the last 3 1/2 years and what she done to them during that time. I brought up that it will happen again and that they will be hurt again by her since she really doesn't care and is using them as a way to get what she wants and that if she were to live her,her husband would do nothing but cause problems and that I don't think we want to go through all that seeing how everything has been pretty quiet and they are doing so well in school and home.
I did tell them I would allow a visit every week if they wanted but that there was no going back to her living with us again.
I know this isn't over yet and she will be back around asking and I will have to lay it out to her that she can't stay here and why. It's what happens after wards is what I am worried about.I don't want the problems she will bring and I remember how unhappy I was when we were together.

[soloist]

I guess with the kids, it's not easy
to hate their parents and they
really want to get back to
times when things we-
re good. What's sa-
d is that reality
paints a com-
pletely diff-
erent pi-
cture.



B-
ut w-
ho kno-
ws, gettin-
g back with h-
er kids may help
her to turn her situ-
ation around. Only tim-
e will really tell. She reall-
y has to be tired of her situa-
tion before she can change, an-
d even then, she has to WANT the
change. If she does not want it enou-
gh, expect a failed attempt for redemp-
tion. I do hope that the kids aren't disappo-
inted again, because she's running out of chan-
ces (actually, I thought she ran out). We shall see.